Thursday, January 20, 2011

guess i gotta my swagga back.

-bass drop-

ive had quite the good day. i only had 2 hours of sleep... minor setback, but i have a new boy on the horizon. it wasnt planned by me. i jokingly asked my friend to find me a boy with a loud car and a good bass system. three days later... i get a, do you know (so-and-so)? hes 19. im fat. booo. i need to be in the 120s by friday. i was 133 this morning then 131.5 at around 6. so we'll see. my fast wasnt really a fast but a lets eat very little. damn almonds! i had 10! who knew they were 7 calories a piece! never again. (shhh... they were good. *shudder*)

to my mother since i cant say this to her face...
mom: you see whats happening on the outside, the anger and the tears. but you dont know me well enough to even guess partway correct on what's happening, and when i say i dont want to tell you, please just leave me alone. stop asking me questions. you really dont understand. this isnt rural russia.
i know i may sound like a prick saying that, but so be it! this is my blog! MINE I SAY.... whoa. sorry bout that.

it really scares me that other people can see beauty within me, when all i see is one fat lump. today one of my friends said that i was looking skinny... too skinny. and the same boy kept saying that i need to eat a sandwich. :P

speaking of food... today at lunch, i studied eating habits. its fascinating. they offered me food, and i politely declined. i may start taking mental notes. fuck, im strange.

tomorrow i start the gm. fruit day! im excited. i have cantaloupe and apples all cut and ready, and unpeeled clementines. (: i love fruit.

i have several projects going on right now. featuring a diet plan made from a picture and spot reducing... i know "impossible" but i swear its not and i will prove it.

until tomorrow!
i was going to show a picture, but i cant find it tonight. perhaps tomorrow.
thinspo? yes please!






8 comments:

  1. Yay for new boys! I WANT A NEW BOY. WHY IS THIS ALL CAPITALIZED??? i'M SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW. i'M REALLY SORRY. BUT i JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT i LOVE YOU'RE BLOG RIGHT NOW AND ALE=WAYS AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE GM DIET!q!!

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  2. gald you've had a good day sweet (:
    good luck with the GM diet, and with the new boy.
    xxx

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  3. Hey-hey!

    YES, PLEASE!!! Bring on the new guy! I'm not worried about how he looks or what he drives, as long as he treats you right! You're stunning and you deserve to be happy!

    Remember papaya and pineapple, if you can get them now. They contain papain and bromelain, powerful digestive enzymes and weight loss aids!

    Best of luck with GM and have a great day! Love ya! <3. XXX.

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  4. Aww yay!! new boys are great. plus, you can be a whole new person with him! I know he'll count himself lucky if he can be with you

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  5. Oh, love, so happy for you and a new boy on the horizon! Will be looking forward to updates!!
    Good luck with the fruit day tomorrow and don't forget to keep us posted!

    Lots of love,
    Lu.

    P.S. Lol at Haley's comment up there :D

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  6. Never feel bad for venting on here--that's what the blog is for... Only mothers can make you feel like that. <3 I'm 26 and sometimes I still feel like a misbehaving ten-yr-old again.

    Yay for the new boy!! That's so exciting. :D

    xoxo

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  7. yay! boys. :)

    i love fruits! ahhh!
    you can get in the 120's you got this! text me if you need help/motivation. :D

    dont give up.

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  8. Another boy!? that was fast:)

    Good luck on your GM diet! I'm starting the SGD tomorrow I do believe.

    And also, you're not weird for studying eating habits, I do it ALL the time. It's kind of a hobby of mine. Usually makes me want to eat less when I see how other people eat :/

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