i "dont" feel.

my thoughts dont flow anymore,
i would write more,
if my mind could actually focus on anything other than destruction.

i dont want to be here,
but i cant leave,
i fall in between the crevices of vague hopes,
and all i really want is to disappear.

mornings frequently arrive with tears and hatred,
every day is a cycle of getting as inebriated as possible,
on anything that's offered.

i dont know if what i feel occasionally is truly happiness,
or the face i play to get less questions.

im a liar and a terrible person,
and im about to destroy everything in my path,
to prove absolutely nothing.
except maybe a black heart.

bmi 20.9