i am an unacceptable fat whale,
im not even going to weigh myself tomorrow,
the tears arent worth it.
--i weighed in at 137 again this morning.
--im happy about this.
--but after today i dont know. :P
to be honest with you,
i just wanted to feel full.
i kept eating and eating but i wouldnt feel full.
but i feel full now, and its an awful feeling.
i like the sound of my tummy grumbling earlier.
and i will get that back.
although i do want to be healthy and stop loathing myself,
but i can do that when i reach my goal weight.
then i can "recover" or try, i s'pose.
but i cant right now,
because all i see is fat,
and that is unacceptable.