Friday, December 3, 2010


i am an unacceptable fat whale,
im not even going to weigh myself tomorrow,
the tears arent worth it.

--i weighed in at 137 again this morning.
--im happy about this.
--but after today i dont know. :P

to be honest with you,
i just wanted to feel full.
i kept eating and eating but i wouldnt feel full.
but i feel full now, and its an awful feeling.
i like the sound of my tummy grumbling earlier.

and i will get that back.
although i do want to be healthy and stop loathing myself,
but i can do that when i reach my goal weight.
then i can "recover" or try, i s'pose.
but i cant right now,
because all i see is fat,
and that is unacceptable.


  1. I totally understand that :( Just keep at it girl. You've had a set back, but that is just going to motivate you to do even better.

    I like when my tummy grumbles at me means it awake ;P

  2. Ugh this is how I feel.
    I know I'd lose more weight-in the long run-and keep it off if I just ate healthy, but all I see is fat fat fat so starve starve starve is the answer.

    137 is awesome :) I just got out of the 140's so I know how exciting it can be!

    Keep up the good work, don't let this binge get you down:)