Sunday, December 12, 2010

new beginning.

i love new beginnings almost as much as i love breaking rules, especially my own rules. i keep changing my mind and i cant make it up, all i know is that i dont want to leave. i deleted 2 of my latest posts because i changed my mind, i didnt feel like that anymore. sure because of this weekend i undid a lot of my hard work. but thats life for you, thats lack of control. i cant change what i did, but i can change what i am going to do about it.

i would like to give you an update. i went to a concert on friday, saw a very attractive boy, called him sweaterboy, facebook stalked his band, found his facebook. :D. i then went to a sleepover where i ate a lot. and then i woke up and ate a lot more, then i went home and ate a lot more, then i felt bad so i tried to purge, which made me feel even worse by the way. so i spent saturday night at home, and then sunday morning i was gonna restart myself and eat well but then i had a 50 cal breakfast tooks some vitamins and diet pills which made me feel really nauseous. so then i ate ramen to make it feel better, because i was so nauseous i couldn't concentrate. and then i proceed to eat more and more as the day went on.

this morning i weighed 141. im not changing my goals. (in the "my stomach" tab). i might weigh more tomorrow, but this i must take and deal with. there is no crying allowed. i did this to myself, i will undig this hole im stuck in. build myself a ladder out of dirt.

i have 6 days before my ex comes home to visit. i have 13 days before christmas. i have 15 days before my blogger anniversary. i have 19 days before the end of the year.

this is my mind set, i must do this.


  1. Okay so first off, you're amazing for staying so positive after this weekend! Seriously...we all need to have a mind set like this. It gets you farther than moping around feeling sorry for yourself.

    I haven't weight in a couple days. Pretty sure I put myself back up between 145-150 (gag me). We can do this, we can get back on track..get back down. If we can gain it, we can lose it.

  2. U are a star!!! A new beginning is always good and I am doing the same after a shit weekend love!!!!
    Not long to go but you can make it :)!

  3. i wish it would snow here!!!!! :p screw florida its too hot here.
    when i play ddr i play the workout mode and you like enter your weight and then just play and it tells you how many calories you burn and you can set goals like 500 calories or 300 calories or however many you wish to burn. best invention ever!
    good luck on your goals :D and congrats for coming so far :]
    stay strong <3