Monday, November 29, 2010

fail, not so fail, afraid.

so last night i went to sleep at 130ish, and woke up at a bright and early... 745am.
so failure to exercise,
and then school didnt have salads.
and then i didnt feel well so i didnt go to ballet,
but then i felt REALLY fat,
so i went for a 2 mile walk.

intake: 405 cal.
outtake: -175 cal.
total: 23o cal.

that is quite lovely. (:

i weighed myself in the morning: 141.5
i weighed myself before i took a shower: 140.5

we shall see in the mornin' (:

i feel like things are looking up,
todays emotions: happy and afraid.
im afraid of gaining weight,
im afraid of scaring away my friends,
im afraid of them not liking me anymore,
im afraid of being alone,
im afraid of growing up.

... but somehow i still feel like things are looking up,
probably because my weight is going down.
but still, i feel fatter than ever. :/

[[shit. my daddy is making fish, i love fish, im a bad vegetarian, its 10 pm, screw the damn fish.]]


  1. Fish at 10 pm?! You'd have weird dreams for sure. ;)
    Good job on the 2 mile walk! And intake today was awesome.
    Keep looking up! <3

  2. Ugh i know what you mean.. exercising are super hard because i cannot commit to the schedule. Just to tell you, you're beautiful the way you are, don't be too hard on yourself! good luck

  3. well done on the intake,
    and there's always other days to exercise, don't force yourself if you aren't feeling well xoxo