Tuesday, October 12, 2010

day 16/35.

halfway point
jeez. i fail.
yesterday i weighed 143.5,
today 144.5.
but im not surprised i had like 2000 calories yesterday.
i didnt have any drugs or anything else to fill up the void.
so i filled up my tummy.

but i did a lot better today.
im done eating. its 10 pm.
ive had 395. (:

but tomorrow, as wednesdays always are.
one of my fav days. (:
i know its bad... but i love the munchies.
like i dont feel guilty for eating im not thinking.
just doing what i want... for once.
but then i feel guilty later.
but ill just compensate with restricting thursday.
im doing quite well with the every other day,
restrict then eat a bunch thing.
unfortunatly the scale doesnt like that.

and i want less on the scale,
so ill try to contain myself in my happy stupor tomorrow.

also: i have the eating habits of an obese person.
like im a COMPLETE emotional eater.
and its irritating.
because i do that, and then im like... why even bother.
but, i must overcome this.

the reason i ate so little.
is because i ate so much yesterday,
so i still felt nauseous and not hungry.
so i was like not gonna eat if my tummy isnt even hungry.
but then my tummy growled on the bus home,
so i had a bit.
then i had a bit after dance,
then i treated myself a bit.
120 calories of reeses and cheetos.
it wasnt a lot, but it made me feel content.
hmm. interesting.

until later. (: <3


  1. haha... munchies = the bomb/the worst.
    try to resist!!
    love youu <3

  2. 120 cals of Reese's and Cheetos? Sounds good to me! That's the way to do it, I think--treat yourself, but restrict at the same time. I let myself have a bowl of ice cream and peanut butter when I get the munchies, but I measure it so the whole thing is never more than 200 cals. :D