Tuesday, October 26, 2010

blah.

did bad today.
big lunch AND big dinner.
kill me now.
i have posting this though, because i feel like such a disappointment to you guys.
but... i dont really have anyone else to tell.
i had around 1600.
and anyone else would say thats "normal"
what the hell is normal anyway?

new rules:
1. i hate pizza.
2. i hate chocolate.
3. i hate fries.
4. i hate cookies.
5. i hate chips.
... i think thats it.
those are the foods i normally binge on.
but never again!... i hope.

even though ive been having bad days recently... ive found a gap inbetween my legs that i never noticed before... makes me kinda proud that all those days i used to spend hungry didnt torture me for no reason. and if i did it once i can do it again.

while binging today i heard a voice in my head... it was saying not to eat... at least only eat the strawberries... stop!... but it was so tiny... i couldnt hear it after i shoved all that food in my mouth.

and now i feel nauseous... and my dad made steak which is REALLY REALLY gross [im a vegetarian] and it just makes me feel even worse... and now my heart hurts... and damn, im just full of complaints.

tomorrow will be better. i promise all of you.
i will not disappoint you.

3 comments:

  1. Your not a dissapointment love
    xx
    You will do much better next time, everyone has weak moments, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
    xx GOODLUCK!!!
    stay strong

    ReplyDelete
  2. You can't disappoint us. <3 Tomorrow is always a new beginning.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not disappointed at all, my dear.
    It's encouraging to know that all of us slip up sometimes. Like I did last night.
    I'm back on track today, and you'll be back on track tomorrow! Look past this - think of all the weight you'll lose tomorrow <3
    Stay superstrong <3

    -Molly

    ReplyDelete