Wednesday, September 28, 2011

losing my mind.

i apologize to anyone that has texted me recently. i lost my phone/it got stolen. whatever.
email me if you would like. i check it a thousand times a day:

lets have a recap of my birthday weekend.
friday: i had an awesome time driving around with my friend M stealing shit and shopping. then i lost my phone, M tells me we cant to a rave that night because her boyfriend doesnt want to go, and i start crying hysterically. i ate a lot.
saturday: woke up at 430 in the afternoon. decided that it wasnt actually my birthday (it was), then refuses to let anyone believe it was my birthday. went to S's house and she made me feel better. went home. decided i felt like being mad at M, went to yell at her, decided that my need for alcohol was stronger than being angry. stayed at matt's house with M and her boyfriend. matt and i hooked up. yeah...
sunday: didnt do shit.

so i ate a lot all weekend. and this morning 9/27 i ended up being 146. LEFUCCCKKK.
today my intake was 240, didnt exercise but stretched a lot and walked home from school.

im starting pointe. i got my shoes and everything. my teacher told me to wear them around the house so i break them in. you know what would be really cool? if i could major in dance. do you know what im too fat to do? anything remotely artistic via the body. this will change. im checking out some other dance studios tomorrow.

im also trying to grow an inch with stretches and such, just to see if i could model.

realizing your dreams too late is such an extraordinary pity.


  1. It's not too late to make your dreams a reality.
    I know you don't want to hear that you're young and you have plenty of time, but you do have SOME time left. Follow your heart. I wish I would have at your age.

    Happy Belated Birthday by the way.

  2. better late than never, yeah? don't worry, you can still get there. :)

  3. your going to looooovvee pointe :) and I bet you'll be an awesome dance major!! (maybe we'll end up at the same school ;) )

  4. Happy belated bday, love! I fear I'm in the 140s too...

  5. Definitely not too late!!! And happy birthday, deary. I hope your new dance studio is nice :)

  6. You'll be brilliant, you will. <3

    Happy birthday, for the other day, you beautiful girl.

    Things will get better.


  7. Happy belated birthday!!

    That's so excited you're starting pointe!! I have 2 pairs of pointe shoes in my room (my old roommate's--she was a ballet major) and I've tried wandering around the house in them a couple times (fail). That's some skill. You'll be an amazing dancer!!


  8. happy birthday!

    growing an inch with stretches, i want to do that too! ahaha, what stretches are you doing? if i were an inch taller, i'd be model height :)