i want to write something beautiful that will make your hearts soar and your spirits rise, but im afraid ive been on the verge of tears all day and the dam simply shattered when i returned home this evening.
wednesday i spent the entire day throwing up for no apparent reason other than the fact that my body hates me. intake = zero.
thursday was thanksgiving. i ate too much. intake = 950.
today was alright. i fasted today. i havent had a cig in three days now, and its weird. i like everything about cigs, but my friend got into my car smelling like an ashtray and i have never been more nauseated in my life. oh, well. i know im not quitting forever, but its nice to save money for now.
on the mental side of things, im sad. im really really fucking sad. my mood can just go cliff diving at the smallest things.
i have never wanted to disappear more in my life.
wednesday i spent the entire day throwing up for no apparent reason other than the fact that my body hates me. intake = zero.
thursday was thanksgiving. i ate too much. intake = 950.
today was alright. i fasted today. i havent had a cig in three days now, and its weird. i like everything about cigs, but my friend got into my car smelling like an ashtray and i have never been more nauseated in my life. oh, well. i know im not quitting forever, but its nice to save money for now.
on the mental side of things, im sad. im really really fucking sad. my mood can just go cliff diving at the smallest things.
i have never wanted to disappear more in my life.
I hope you're doing good on your quitting smoking! it's definitely a hard thing to do, I am going to try it as a 'new years resolution' -but we know how those always go! lol hope you're doing good.
ReplyDelete