sometimes i feel like screaming,
im holding so much inside,
all these jumbled up words ready to spill.
no one would listen anyway.
i realized i cant harness the feeling i have with someone so i could stand on my own,
because that feeling involves being cared for by someone else and not worrying.
hence, alone = anxious mess.
im not losing any weight and thats bothering me.
although im starting to get back on the right track i think.
but my scale is 5 pounds of according to my brother,
i think im going to look for a new one,
but not weigh myself until i have three good days.
im surprised i didnt cry when i found out.
i just kinda sat down and stared blankly at things for a minute.
today was better.
i didnt wake up angry or sad.
and nothing went wrong.
it was actually pretty awesome.
and all i had was 8 baby carrots.
i got the book skinny bitch,
that should be an interesting read.
im holding so much inside,
all these jumbled up words ready to spill.
no one would listen anyway.
i realized i cant harness the feeling i have with someone so i could stand on my own,
because that feeling involves being cared for by someone else and not worrying.
hence, alone = anxious mess.
im not losing any weight and thats bothering me.
although im starting to get back on the right track i think.
but my scale is 5 pounds of according to my brother,
i think im going to look for a new one,
but not weigh myself until i have three good days.
im surprised i didnt cry when i found out.
i just kinda sat down and stared blankly at things for a minute.
today was better.
i didnt wake up angry or sad.
and nothing went wrong.
it was actually pretty awesome.
and all i had was 8 baby carrots.
i got the book skinny bitch,
that should be an interesting read.
Ugh. I'm sorry. :( I'm glad that you're feeling better today, though!
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy skinny bitch! I read it randomly right after I became vegan and it encouraged me a) to keep going and b) to eat heathily in general. I used to reread it sometimes when I thought I was going to fall off the wagon (I haven't for a while which is why--now that I think about it--I had such a bad spell, so I'll probably pick it up when I'm back at school).
Wow. Sorry for all the rambling! Let me know what you think of it! :)
I know how you feel when you don't lose weight and its frustrating. Wow on only having carrots, and I've got that book too, have you read the OMG one as well? It's amusing even if I couldn't follow it! (Ice cold baths recommended,,, no ta!) hope the next few days are a bit better for you and thank you for my comments, they mean a lot xxxx
ReplyDeleteI feel like screaming all the time.
ReplyDelete/Avy
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