day 9/42

06.29.10

i weighed myself at the gym.... 154.
i dont know if i believe that or not.

what ive eaten:
-doritos ~ 200 cal
-butterfingers 6 mini ~ 540 cal
-lo carb monster ~ 20 cal
-doritos ~ 100 cal
-butterfingers 5 mini ~ 450 cal
-white fish && rice ~ 300 cal
TOTAL: 1510 cal. BOOOOOOOOOOOO.
exercise: -100 cal walk.
-150 cal exercise
so end total: 1260 cal.
[[i did that all in my head xP]]

im 72% done with online drivers ed... in 3 days... (:
hahahahahaha. such bullshit. and i didnt kill anyone while driving today.
tomorrrow.... i conquer roads.
..................................maybe.

you know the imma eat healthy thing?
SUCH BULLSHIT.
id rather not eat, rather than eat healthy.
sad? i know.
tomorrow im living of the 4 locarb monsters i bought.
and 420 other ccalories to bring me to 500.

wish me luck!
pictures soon! i promise!

day 8/42

06.28.10

didnt weigh myself today.
i didnt have time.
i just ran... at like midnight. but it was nice. (:
i burnt around 220 im assuming.... 2.2 miles in 23 minutes. haha.
after that i took a cold shower.

things i ate today:
lunch: 1/2 publix turkey sandwich ~ 350 cal
dinner: 1/2 publix turkey sandwich ~ 350 cal
happy cow (i think) cheese ~ 50 cal.
cucumber ~ 50 cal.
snackish: asian noodle ~ 100 cal
pringles ~ 175 cal
lo carb monster ~ 10 cal
cookies ~ 250 cal

total: 1335? cal.

now that i look back on it... that a lot. xP
i looked up my bmr.
its apparently around 1550.
i dont believe it though.

im eating healthy tomorrow cuz im sick of my stomach hurting all the time.

aighht laterrr.

day 7. and now I want to start over.

06.27.10

I weighed myself at the gym.
155. yay.
burnt 300 cal.
but then I got all sad because boys suck.
and I ate a lot. I'm thinking around 2000.
imma take a cold bath later to punish myself.
and gonna go run tomorrow morning. and then gym.
maybe I can burn like 600. then go swimming. 300.
and then I'll feel better.
alright. I'm gonna finish my movie.

later.
I gonna make sure I have good news tomorrow.

day 6/42

6.26.10
its not that i ate a lot today.
its that what i ate had a lot of calories.
total around 1400-1500.
and i only burnt 160 cals from running around my neighborhood.
but im okay with that... and ill tell you why.
i started off running and im like...
this is so stupid i hate p.e. ugh i cant wait for this 20 minutes to be over.
and then after i ran like 3/4 of a mile... i was like i feel fantastic.
but the problem was... i started running faster... which got my heart rate up faster.
which means i had to stop more because i kept going OVER the target heart rate zone.
and then when i was done i just kept running probably a quarter of a mile.
but still... its a new experience for me... and i was really pleased with it. (:

and now for the bad news.
wanna know what i ate today?
okay ill tell you. xP
1. croissant sandwich~420
2. ritz bits~450
3. diet dr. pepper
4. QT sandwich~280
5. chocolate eclair ice cream~200 maybe. i forgot to check.
6. 1/2 100 cal popcorn~60
7. homemade blueberry cake~100
and that is why i am fat. good bye.

thinspo soon: gowns and dresses and corsets and such.

croissant sandwiches will be the death of me.

they need to magically disappear from my fridge.

i need to remember next time i put one in the fridge.
how gross i feel right now.

and that im gonna have to go all out gym time later.
just to burn it off.

that is all.

day 5/42

its almost been a week.
and nothing.
i feel like such a failure. :(
nothing is going right in my life either.

ugh. hard core gym tomorrow.
i am determined to lose two pounds by...
monday i suppose.

I WANT TO GO SHOPPING DAMNIT.

on a more personal level...
i was talking to this guy.
and we're having this conversation via text.
and he doesnt answer.
i wait awhile... and text him again.
and he says he answered.
and then i said something else and...
nothing... again.
any suggestions on what i should do?

its getting annoying. xP

more thinspo later.

also,
ive decided that when i go to the gym
and go on the elliptical im gonna make a playlist of thinspo videos.
that way i can go 40 minutes or even more if it works. (:
ill tell you how that goes.

to becoming a skinny bitch!
*cheers*

...

days 3-5/42

sorry i havent been posting. xP

06.22.10
i ate around 900 calories.
and burnt around 700.
with 90 minutes of dance and aqua fit.
oh that class was awful.
too many old people. xP

06.23.10
i dont know what happened.
but i ate a lot without knowing.
xP i still went to the gym -600 cal.
but still idk what happened.

06.24.10
today was alright.
i went out to dinner. so i ate arun 1150 cals.
then dance and gym... around -600 cal.

i weighed myself this morning. i was 157.

i want to be 144 by school. that 6 weeks.
I GOTTA GET GOIIAAANNNN.

bye. (:


thinspo:

day 2/42

fuck. my fucking life.
I ate 2000 calories today.
I'm a whale.
kill me. pleeeaaassse.

shooting for 600 calories tomorrow.
going to the gym 430-6. ish.
aqua fit 6-7.
dance 730-9.

so that should help today's failure.
negaive calories tomorrow.
for tpdays 2000-400 ish for dance. xP.

ohhhmaaahhhgeeee I hte myself sooo much.
ugh. I'm going to sleep I can't stand myself.

later.

6.21.10

im bck at 157. yaaay.(:
5 more lbs till shopping day!
I NEED CLOTHES.
hahaha.

update later.
byeee.










i had to wear a tutu like tat 2 years ago. didnt look like that. xP

day 1/42

this is before school starts.
according to today I weigh 159. XP.
this is 6 weeks. but I'm hoping to weigh 144 when school starts.
that's my healthy weight.
and I really wanna turn heads. that would be fun.
;).

so I ate around 700 cal today.
and burnt -300 cals.
so. it's a good day!
I could have burnt more.
but my friend wasn't in a good mood and I had to cheer her up.
xP.

I think if I continue doing this. I'll be good.
but I know I'll have my binge days.
and once I get to 152 I get a shopping day. (:
I'm in desperate need of new clothing.
I'm thinking I'll got to the outlet malls or something.

I'm gonna track my food and exercise on my iphone app I have.
that way it'll be easier to blog.
hmm. I should really do a new vlog. oh well.
that's what the day is for!

anyways. tomorrow I have SAT class at 10.
and then work at 2.
then I have dance 730-9.
and I have to get to the gym before then. xP.
so I'll be busy all day and won't eat. yaay!

alright, loves. <3
byeeee.

fml.

i gained. A LOT.
FMFL.
i ruined everything.
i can feel myself getting fatter. XP.
so i just had breakfast : 1 banana
but i feel an omeltte craving comming on. fuck.
oh well.

hardcore gym at four.

later.








ashlee simpson (: <3


i love them! (:

6.20.10

so I'm sitting here watching the holiday.
and i dont want to be fat anymore.
I ate a lot today. like. ALOT.
so I wouldn't be surprised if I gained.
but I'm going to the gym hardcore tomorrow.
and then we'll see.

I wrote this post earlier.
but the pics screwed up so I deleted it.
but there will be pictures soon!

later. (:

compliment #2

this is the second timein the while ive heard a compliment.
yaaayzzzz to meee. (:

i finally got down to 156. (:
and i re read thinspo tips and trcks and am trying to incorporate some of them.

went to the gym for 2 1/2 hours today.
elliptical for 30.
then swimming for 30.
sauna for 15.
then other stuff for a while.
i didnt exactl use my time wisely. XP

but today started dance camp.
i got put in with company.
i was nervous for a bit. but it wasnt that bad.
1 and 1/2 hour class. yaaay. (:
haha.
so i got some dancer pics.
just because. (:







also, last wek i tried bellydancing.
i dont think im gonna try again. haha.




im gonna be like this one day. (:





lovesss. (:
laterrrrr.