mondays.

today was a very lazy day. very lazy days are not good for sofia.

i woke up at 11:10 am. my second class starts at 11:15am. so i said fuck it and skipped both of them. i then proceeded to go supply shopping at walmart with a friend from school.

then i went and visited my friend jacob who lives 40 minutes away... yay for having a car! but i had been smoking weed since i woke up so i binged a lot and then passed out into a food coma type thing. then woke up, drove to target, bought binge food, and went back to my dorm.

this is where it gets bad. after eating about half of each a box of cheezits, a king sized kit kat bar, and (1/3 of) a box of cookies, i purged some of it and then cut. i fucking hate it when i do that. it makes me feel guilty, worthless, and stupid.

i told andrew i was freaking out and explained some of why i was freaking out, and he told me not to because i was perfect, which really just made me cry even more. but several cigarettes later, i felt better, went back to my room and did some work. i have an exam tomorrow i have yet to study for though....

im gonna stay busy tomorrow. and probably go shopping for something to wear for the concert im seeing friday night. the food plan is small portions of oatmeal/eggs/fruit for breakfast, and then salad/fruit for lunch and dinner. im going to try to fast on wednesday, i think, but that may be difficult since im going to go back to my home town.

oh, and by the way, i hate wear i live now. i go to the university of georgia, and athens sucks. its all about drinking and there are way to many assholes and dumb bitches everywhere. its hard to deal with sometimes.

stay lovely everyone. <3

andrew.

i told him my secrets. every day he pries out more. ive been welcoming it. im falling in love with him.

he told me he loved me.... twice.
also mentioned that ive been losing weight, and that i should gain some. [[fuck that, obviously]]

a month ago i was dating five people, now i only want andrew, i think. he doesnt believe in monogamous relationships though, so i dont know what he wants from me. we've been seeing each other for almost three months without being anything official. we started off as business friends, then we went to friends, then almost instantly to fuck bodies, but now theres something more. i miss him when i go to school during the week, and i want to spend all weekend with him always. he always tells me he doesnt want me to leave.

i still dont know how much i weigh. i try not to eat. ive been throwing up sometimes. im only getting worse from being at college.

i hope everyone is doing alright. ill try to find time to comment and post more, now that i have bunches of free time. stay lovely. <3