tabs, life, and fasting.

i feel like i should explain my tabs.
i decided to have fun with it one day and make it body parts,
because thats what this blog is about, i s'pose.

"my brain" is my thoughts, my writings, my posts.
essentially its the home page.

"my stomach" is my stats.
it includes my hw, cw, and gws.
along with my weight goals and measurements.

"my feet" is relatively new,
and is embarrassing right now.
it is my daily caloric intake for each day.
and you can see... im not doing too grand.
it also shows how long its been since i last binged (also embarassing),
and how long its been since i last drank coke...
and im drinking it right now so... ugh, yeah.
(i know its bad for me!! :/)

"my heart" is thinspiration.
what i want to be in my heart:
pretty, beautiful, fragile, (mary kate).
what?! who said that?!...
i swear there are ghosts on this blog.

"my appendix" is completely irrelevant.
its just something i want to do in my lifetime,
and decided to share with you. (:

[[edit:: an even newer tab is "my hands"
which is a 30 letter challenge i will be doing every now and then. (:
thanks to Meg for the idea .]]

right now, i believe my mother weighs almost the same as me.
she is also 5 inches shorter than me.
how come i think she looks better than me, body wise?
ill never know.

i hung out with ryan last night.
he made me this awesome tea, and then we watched dodgeball.
it was lovely.
and then we made out a bit.
but i felt a bit weird, i mean i liked it,
but hes different than the other boys ive been with.
like i didnt expect him to be like this. haha.
also, when we were on the couch and cuddling or whatever,
i felt so strange, he was like touching my stomach,
and i felt really awkward, he asked me what was wrong.
and he knows about everything,
i think i just said, i dont like my stomach.
i dont know, we'll see how it goes.
im hanging out with him tonight too.
p.s. he called me hot twice, haha, ive never been described as such.

my fast is going well,
im not really that hungry.
but i am just a little.
my brother made bagels,
and i really wanted one.
but i dont need carb filled bread and fatty cheese.
no, i do not.