i hate breaking fasts.

so today i broke the 41 hour fast at 1230 pm,

i think ill break more fasts at school,
but im glad i only brought the exact change i needed,
because i was EXTRAORDINARILY tempted to buy a giant cookie and fries.
which is 800 + 450 = FAT.
but im awful at breaking fasts in general.
like today ive had around 800.
silly sofia, when will you ever learn?

so at lunch the other day [[11/6--fasting]]
we struck up a conversation about this anorexic girl in my grade,
... shes in my french class and i swear her calves are bigger than her thighs...
and they were just like... its so sad, blah blah blah.
they dont even suspect anything because im too fucking fat.
i cant wait until i look like her. :P...
im considering dropping my ugw down,
but i want to wait until i get there to decide.

but here we go!
planning time!
tomorrow, all i plan on eating is pizza (300) at 1 pm.
then fruits and veggies at home.
i have salad, grapes, blueberries, apples, and then vegan rice cheese and soy dogs.
my goal is ~500 cal.

then i think ill fast on thursday,
and then most of friday until i go to my friends sleepover,
she works at a bakery and gets all the leftovers.
i need to smoke,
that might be why ive felt the need to eat all day?
maybe, i promised ryan i wouldnt...
but he doesnt need to know. i s'pose.

i hope i didnt gain too much from my 800 cals today,
i think ill be okay... maybe.
i may take a walk later tonight,
because i didnt go to dance today,
because my foot is acting up. damn.
and then crunches and such as always.

i hate screwing up.
and sorry for the double post.