day 1/35.

i forgot to weigh myself this morning.

i ended up having 650 calories yesterday.
not too bad.
i did some exercises too,
not as much as i wanted but i had to do homework.

i probably shouldnt be writing this post considering i have a practice sat essay to write.... eh ive got an hour.

im pretty much done eating for the day.
ive had 905, which is okay i guess.
for this week i just want to stay under 1000...
because my body isnt used to it.
and as it is i got into a bad mood today for no flippin reason.
hahahaha. flippin.
today wouldnt have been so bad if i hadnt asked for that cake cookie in calculus.
like... im like hey, can i have one? and the girl's like... sure.
and hands me one. and as soon as she gives it to me im like crap.
i dont want to eat this, i dont want to eat this.
but i didnt want to hurt her feelings.
damnit, now that i think of it i could have just "saved it for later"
ugh. now ill know for future reference.

so after this, ill do some sat, do some homework.
go to ballet, go to sat tutor.
i wish i could go to the gym after, but... damn tutor.
maybe i can go after that.
i might be too tired though.
because im still gonna do some stuff in my room at night.
aight, we'll see.

but like i said... im basically done eating...
because im not gonna eat an hour before ballet.
and then i cant eat in between.
and once i get home, itll be 830 or so.
and im not eating after 8.
well, if i do itll be something small.
like half a fruit or a pickle.

i wish i had weighed myself though...
because i still dont know what im reaching for,
well, it shouldnt matter.
i still want to lose as much as possible.

one day you'll be able to spin me around and ill truly feel like im yours. silly as that sounds. я люблю тебя. i love you. (: